Watch FMovies. If I is a Perrier Comedy Award-winning comedy one-man show written and performed by Demetri Martin at the 2003 Edinburgh Festival Fringe. It was also aired on British television as a special. The show is an autobiographical examination of Martin's life, as seen through various definitions of the word "if." The title of the special comes from a lengthy palindromic poem that Martin wrote; the words "if I" are at the center of the poem.